On August 1, 2024 (the hottest day on record in Morgantown), I encountered the most loathed place in any prison: the special housing unit, the SHU, or the Hole. On a job assignment for the electrician apprenticeship, myself and two other coworkers went to a housing unit, when it was raided. One coworker was in proximity to a cell phone, so he was charged with possession of it, while myself and the other coworker were accused of being "lookouts." I was charged with aiding in possession of contraband and immediately taken to the SHU for further investigation. For six weeks, I suffered in a 9' x 9' x 9' metal box during the peak of summer without proper ventilation and no air conditioning - pure hell. While I feared a health-related crisis from the heat, I survived. The experience was terrible and should not be an option for treating a human person. During those six weeks, I read about 25 books, celebrated my 46th birthday, and sweated throughout a very long Labor Day Weekend. A year later, I still have flashbacks to this traumatic event. Literally, the day before this incident, I just finished reading a recommended prison memoir, in which the author accounts his relatable experience of the SHU.
He writes, "In the Special Housing Unit, days drag on. The housing unit is nothing more than a gloomy warehouse storing live bodies before packing the eventual shipment to a new prison. Anguish and loneliness have set in. The SHU has a way of fundamentally dehumanizing a person, leaving them broken. The unit resembles a massive concrete bunker. The windows are painted or caked with filth to prevent prisoners from seeing outside. It is a labyrinth of cells, halls, each pathway sealed off from the outside world by walls, gates, and guards. The physical environment reinforces a sense of depressing isolation and detachment from the outside world. It helps create palatable distance from ordinary compunction, and community norms. It is a place that builds anger while at the same time loneliness, and desperation. The SHU blocks you off from the world, and from the world within the prison. Some men spend years in the SHU, in isolation. Even though long-term solitary confinement is decried by human rights groups, our federal government uses it on many occasions simply as punishment. Experiencing this living arrangement firsthand makes it impossible to fathom how any person can live like this. To me it seems like a slow grind of torture. Each day, little by little, a piece of me is dying. I am suffering. Slowly being destroyed both mentally and emotionally. I spend hours pacing back and forth in a nine-foot area."
The "anguish and loneliness" were very much real. I had only one 15-minute phone call every 30 days, but I was able to write letters through snail mail. Conceptual time collapsed during these 6 weeks in the SHU. In fact one author captured the conversion of real time to prison time in isolation (excerpt from On Wings of Eagles by Ken Follett pertaining to two U.S. citizens imprisoned in Iran during 1979 hostage crisis):
Real Time Prison Time
1 hour = 1 day
1 day = 1 month
1 month = 1 year
So yes, the one month definitely felt like a time warp of one year! The sensory deprivation of confinement became noticeable when I was released. Colors of nature were vibrant. It was like seeing everything for the first-time. My eyes could see distances very clearly that normally would normally blur. The length of this confinement was not normal. The investigation into this one little cell phone and the paperwork to process it all took six weeks, since staff members were on summer vacation and the holiday weekend is more like a holiday week. The charge of aiding with the cell phone was eventually dropped [without any apology or recognition for being falsely detained].
During the evenings when the facility was quiet, I could hear a humming that mimicked an organ playing church music. At first, I just thought the ringing was in my ears, and I was losing my mind. Then, about two weeks-in, the one coworker asked to see a psychologist since he claimed he was "going nuts" due to auditory hallucinations...he was hearing organ music with a church choir. I assured him that he wasn't really crazy, and I was hearing it too. Another guy mentioned that he heard the same thing. Oddly, this auditory trickery actually brought a sense of peace and comfort that I was not truly alone during those agonizing weeks. Faith is a critical aspect to surviving a situation like this one, at least for me.
All I had in the hellish cell were the books and a bright orange jumpsuit (yes, just like TV). We were permitted to order stamps, which only delivered once in those 6 weeks. Some over-the-counter medicines could be purchased, which led to a few Tricks of the Trade for adapting to the SHU. For example, Milk of Magnesia is commonly used to treat upset stomachs and constipation, but it also acts as deodorant when small dabs applied to arm pits. Allergy pills, like Benadryl, guarantee a solid 8 hours of sleep (take only as prescribed). I used pieces of loose string for dental floss! These little things don't seem like much, but they really helped!
I am not short on stories from this experience, but I briefly wanted to share what happened to me a year ago. I appreciate so many of you who reached out and inquired about my safety during that time. While that was the darkest time of prison sentence, I am extremely excited to share the brightest time of my sentence next week 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to indulge my experience of the SHU and for all the incredible support over these many years. I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful summer week and continue to be mindful of any little miracle in your life 🙂