Wow, I can't believe that I've been at Morgantown for 21 months! While many days and weeks monotonously drag, time certainly continues. Being imprisoned is like a mandated rollercoaster ride: the ups, downs, corkscrews, sudden drops, gasps of breath (but all minus the thrill). Each rider experiences a different ride, but with the final destination of freedom! Love and unfailing support are the foundations of my experience for which I am beyond grateful. I know that not everyone is as fortunate as I am or has the foundations that I have to make this ride tolerable. I cannot even imagine how difficult it is to be void of these essentials, which makes prison more about survival than a means for a destination. Every day becomes a battle to gain freedom or a battle for the sole purpose of survival. My daily, personal battle is often fought for the war of freedom. While this analogy of battles and war might seem like an exaggeration, it truly is not. Yet, I know my battle must be fought for the sake of others that have supported me throughout this journey. Just as someone with a chronic illness, aggressive cancer, mental health impairment, or some other life-threatening ailment wages war against the disease, prison is a disease too...different kind of disease.
After 21 months, I have been truly blessed with an overall positive experience because of the support and love from others beyond the confines of the federal prison. When I see headlines about war, death, political turmoil, financial uncertainty, I simply pray. While I'm bubble-wrapped in Morgantown and removed from societal functions, I try not be completely distant. For 21 months, I've had stability, routine, good meals, socialization, exercise, education, and work. All necessary for true rehabilitation. Yet, so many families and children in America have so much less. They live in fear, violence, and chaos without knowing where they will sleep or when their next meal will be or will they live to see another sunrise or sunset. So for 21 months, I have lived in a distorted reality, a surreality within an imperfect system.
I have been appalled to hear stories from other inmates who have ventured throughout the federal prison system: from maximum securities to mediums to lows. Just recently, one inmate shared that he had stabbed his cell mate with a prison shank, "only after he stabbed" him. The stabbings in this instance were not life threatening, but mere expressions of frustration and disagreement. Another guy shared his experience of witnessing two violent deaths while he was serving time at other prisons. Typically, a stabbing or even a severe beating are treated as routine in the federal prison system, which truly baffles me. America has the most incarcerated population than any other country, which must beckon scrutiny of how this system efficiently functions. Rates of recidivism or the chance of committing another crime and being caught for it is about 85%. I am still amazed by this statistic, which just doesn't seem to make any sense if the prison system was truly rehabilitative.
I am certainly not advocating for prison reform, since that would be quite biased of me. But, I would advocate for greater measures of accountability and functionality to be considered, especially given the onslaught of recidivistic crimes and violence experienced within the federal prison system. Overall, I am truly grateful that my personal battle is not for daily survival but for freedom. The unconditional love and continual support from so many of you make this journey possible, and I look forward to finally returning back to "normal" routines of the every day! Thank you for taking time to follow my prison experience, and I hope you have a wonderful week and be mindful of any little miracle in your life!