I received shocking news yesterday that a dear friend had suddenly passed away. Wayne Owen was found deceased. My heart breaks especially for his parents and his brother as they grieve losing their 47-year-old beloved son.
I had only been in D.C. for a few months when I first met Wayne in Rehoboth Beach, DE. After the bars closed at around 1:00 a.m., I walked with a couple fellows to a house that was hosting an “after hours” gathering (basically, since the bars close early in Delaware, it is quite common to stop by a beach house for a night cap or two or three). I played fun card games with many people that I had never met, including Wayne. At around 5:30 a.m., someone had the wise idea to go watch the sunrise on the beach. About 7 of us casually walked to the beach for the sunrise, and once we reached the sand, Wayne began springing into some gymnastics routine. Cartwheels, round-offs, handstands, and some sort of flipping movements. As the sun was rising from the Atlantic Ocean, Wayne was tumbling and jumping around. Initially meeting Wayne, I would have never thought he would be so nimble. I have pictures from this early morning that capture the first day that I met Wayne…those pictures are among some of my favorites in the past 15 years of my iPhone archive.
Over the years, Wayne and I became quite extraordinary friends. For about four years, I dated one of his best friends, which Wayne was instrumental in giving me the nod of approval (which was quite a feat coming from Wayne). During my darkest moments of an arrest and trial, Wayne had emphatically supported me with his wisdom of the court proceedings and overall support as just a loyal friend. He literally was the friend that would give you the shirt off his back, albeit the shirt would be Prada, Gucci, Balenciaga, or whatever designer caught Wayne’s interest at the time.
Mr. Traveler: Wayne loved to travel. I was fortunate to have taken many adventures with him and thoroughly enjoy the many, many memories that we shared. Although he did not like spontaneity, I could always rely on Wayne for a last minute excursion out of the country! If we did not wait until the last minute, Wayne would prepare a detailed itinerary with descriptions of all the sites to see, the restaurants to try, the unique excursions, and the nightlife (of course). The itinerary would always be presented in a professionally printed and bound report-style…more than what you would receive from a travel agency. He took pride in these itineraries.
-Among the many trips, we went to London for a holiday weekend and traveled the countryside. He had exclusive access to Alumni Club at Oxford, where he had completed a summer of studies before law school at William and Mary.
-We went to Istanbul, Turkey, where we ventured into a Turkish spa. To this day, if I need a good laugh to myself, I think of this spa day, when he was physically placed against a wall, his arms held above his head, and some waterboarding splashes constantly bombarding him by the burly Turk with a basin full of water before being physically thrown onto a marble-heated slab. Wayne literally reminded me of a ragdoll being thrown around and splashed with water by a toddler having a temper tantrum before bedtime. It was quite comical to witness. Needless to say, the rest of us chose not to receive the same spa option.
-We went to Playa del Carmen, Mexico (several times) with sooo many fun memories of being gringos on the beach, being sun-kissed, and having way too many margaritas resulting in heartburn…
-We went to Costa Rica for Drew’s 30th birthday trip. Wayne was a hoot. He was suddenly awakened one morning by holler monkeys making a loud roaring noise, but Wayne thought we were being attacked by locals.
-We went to the Dominican Republic for my 40th birthday, and he generously paid for a birthday dinner for 18 people.
-We went to Miami Beach a few times for extended weekend trips and definitely over-tanned our bodies with long days on on South Beach.
-Of course, we most commonly ventured to Rehoboth Beach, DE for weekends for way too many years. These memories of our beach weekends will remain among my favorites.
Mr. Planner: Whether it was a trip itinerary, a birthday party, a wedding, or a community event, like DC Progressive Dinner and Toys for Tots, Wayne had every detail meticulously planned. Because of his diligent and persnicketous planning, these events would be effortless for others and always be quite successful. Wayne would volunteer himself to plan weddings, surprise parties, long vacation trips, and community events. He would always carry a clipboard and had a precise checklist prepped for the event. Wayne finally converted to an iPad from his clipboard, especially since he was not exactly tech savvy but wanted to have the latest technology, like Alexa or what he affectionally called “Computer”. Since he was such a planner, surprising Wayne would always be a feat. We might randomly stop by his condo for an afternoon tea or ask him to host a happy hour before going to dinner, and Wayne would always be ready and prepared to deal with all the shenanigans.
Mr. Dancer: Wayne was often reserved when it came to public recognition or being made the center of attention. However, after many libations, he would warm up to music and would begin to dance some choreographed movement. If it was the right song by Jennifer Lopez, Lady Gaga or some other icon, Wayne would bust into a full dance that he admittedly would practice around his kitchen. These dancing moments would often be captured on video. Several of these videos were included during a montage video tribute during his Surprise 40th Birthday. This video was excellent, and the results of a collective effort to slightly embarrass but important highlight the amazing man that Wayne was to all of us.
Mr. Benefactor: Wayne used his time and certainly talents to help the DC community, friends, and really anybody he felt that he could help. Besides his endless volunteering to coordinate the annual Toys for Tots fundraising bar crawl each December, he would donate a lot of money to local causes. He worked so hard for the annual DC Progressive Dinner held in April, which raised money and awareness for a local nonprofit organization dedicated to LGBTQ+ youth that had difficulty in their homes or having been homeless. Where there was a meaningful cause that Wayne could make a positive impact, he would give himself to it!
Mr. Lawyer: As an incredibly smart and successful lawyer, Wayne had beyond a competent understanding of the law and rights of others. His work for many years to ensure that large companies do not totally screw over those individuals that were reliant on a pension plan, while the company was planning a bankruptcy or change of the pension plan. His pro bono work was par none. He would happily help a friend with their legal woes, help with litigation, and assist with deciphering the rhetoric riddling legal documents. He helped me so many times with his invaluable legal guise without expecting anything in return (but probably motivated by the win of a case). More commonly, Wayne was an excellent debater. He knew rules to games, and would definitely enforce those rules while providing a litany of reasons to ensure the rules were followed. With any discrepancy, Wayne was fair. His debating of the smallest things was always precious to witness…he was animate and entertaining with his tenacity.
Mr. Host & Entertainer: If I may be presumptuous, I would contend that Wayne took the most pride in hosting and entertaining others, which was purely to serve others. He was an incredibly generous host: supplied the food, the drinks, the entertainment – if you ever asked what he needed, he would simply quip, “Maybe grab a bag of ice.” When retelling a story from his life, Wayne would capture everyone’s attention with his details and always some hilariously obscure punchline. He could recite every line from monologues, legal arguments, and popular segments, while capturing the emotion and inflections of his presentation. Many of these recitals have been captured in video – and again these are true gems that he left us. Wayne would often play music videos for the music at his parties. He sometimes had an array of genres that he would play, but most common would be ballad, blasting videos from female performers. Often he would pause the song or lower the volume to share some insight, kernal of fandom, or trival fact pertaining to the video or performer.
-Oh, and his voice: boisterous, controlling, a commanding demeanor would erupt from his mouth when he would garner everyone’s attention, whether it was for instructions for a game, giving a tour in a city, offering a toast during brunch, and most commonly used when playing the drinking game: Flip-Cup. Typically, Wayne would be soft-spoken. Then, he would commandeer the room with this roar that often left people perplexed by the drill-sargent tone. He was quite competitive with games, but a true sportsman. His tone will surely be remembered for a very long time through its repetition of “Cups Up!”
Mr. Companion and Friend: For me, Wayne was truly like an older brother (and at I times I joked that he was like an older “sister” since he could be feisty). Our life journeys crossed for many years in DC. He was a true friend, confidant, mentor, brother/”sister”, just a good human person. His friendship was invaluable to me, and I know for so many others that have crossed paths with him. He loved to live and experience so much, but really enjoyed sharing those experiences with his friends. Honestly, I struggle to even find the words that would truly pay homage to the friend and companion that Wayne was to me, which I am know he was to so many others.
The Son / Older Brother: Before COVID, whenever Wayne’s family (parents or brother) would visit DC, Wayne always took time to have his family spend time with his friends. He was really proud of his roots from the peanut farm in southern Virginia, especially his mom and dad. His parents are absolute delights and wonderful people. To know Wayne, you would know how amazing his parents must be, and the incredible influence that they had on him. Wayne was so proud of his younger brother, and typically took time to harp on how well his brother was doing (but also following a statement that would hint that Wayne was the influence or had already been more establish – his competitive nature). Wayne was an older brother to me and so many others in DC – he had those characteristics of being a protector, caregiver, leader, corrector, motivator and just an overall great man. Like an older brother admonishing me, his words could pierce, but they were truthful and from a place of genuine love. He spoke from the heart but with the balance of the mind. In fact, he was rightfully upset with my legal issues and he let me know how disappointed he was with me. I had hoped to win back his disappointment and make him proud of me. Right now, I am struggling with these words, because I think about him as the beloved son/brother that he was. His parents and brother are truly going to have a void in their lives, which really weighs on the tragedy of his sudden passing.
He will always, always, always be in my heart. I have so many memories, and so many that have been captured on my iPhone. I know that these few words do not instill a true sense of this amazing guy, but he was loved and will be dearly missed.
Until our journeys cross again, may you have peace and reprieve in Heaven, my dear friend, Wayne. “CUPS UP!”