As we begin this year anew, I wish each of you and your loved ones a happy, healthy, and joyful New Year! I pray that 2023 be a year of miracles for all of you. In a special and grace-filled way, a miracle is the unexpected outcome attributed to Provincial intervention! Whatever your faith and belief system is, may you and loved ones have many miracles, even during those times that may seem desolate, hopeless, and feigning.
Over the past few days, I have been consumed by introspection, specifically focused on relationships. I focused on those relationships that are strong, those that have failed, and those that are just mediocre. I have tried to understand my role in how to contribute to the successful ones and what I have done to cause some to fail. I found my thoughts organized around the notion of forgiveness. I am resolute to be forgiving of others, which really just seems to come naturally, but I know I have done things that are difficult for others to forgive me. Ironically, I wrote a thesis on therapeutic forgiveness in 2006 while completing a degree in theology. I selfishly focused on this topic in pursuit of trying to see the intersection between faith and science, and more practically, how each of these could conjoin and manifest a greater depth to the lived experience (again, I was only focused on my self-interest and not trying to make it applicable to anyone else). Most religions speak to the importance of reconciliation or forgiveness as a core element for human unity. Yet, the concept of forgiveness seemed mostly void in the sciences, particularly psychology and sociology. These social sciences lacked therapeutic research and any foundational postulates or theories regarding forgiveness.
A few months ago, I took a brief dive into researching these two topics again. Has any scientist or theologian combined forces? Unfortunately, I could not find any research or theological topics on therapeutic forgiveness, but I know it exists and is a measurably real phenomenon! In thinking about resolutions and looking into all my faults of 2022 (and before), I am reminded of the refreshing newness that the restart of a calendar year offers. If I have done anything or lack of doing anything that has ever offended you, hurt you, begrudged you, or failed to make you a better person, I am utterly sorry. I humbly ask for your forgiveness (if you can) and be assured that I do regret it! Please help me become a fuller person through your forgiveness and know that I offer my forgiveness, love, and healing back to you! If you are inclined to share how I hurt you or caused you not to be the best person you are, then please share it with me (even anonymously). My goal is to foster a continued growth and to know those areas or moments that I have truly lacked to promote someone else’s growth too.
Aside: New Year’s Eve was quite animated here in Morgantown prison camp. The fellow guys were consumed with the bowl games (sorry OSU), watching the different Times Square programming, and playing various card games. The atmosphere was more a livened than the previous holidays, which I attribute to the fact that many of the men here will be released from incarceration in 2023! I will be writing a bit more about this in the near future (as I have been promising).
While we did not have any different meals yesterday or this morning, for dinner today, we were given a “grab bag” for our holiday dinner. Yesterday, we were called to receive a meal ticket, which had only occurred during the Thanksgiving dinner meal. After presenting the ticket to day, we were given a food box that had 8 jumbo wings in a mild buffalo sauce served with white bean chili, baked tater tots, celery/carrots, two pieces of whole wheat bread, and a very large slice of upside down pineapple cake. The meal was consumed back in the dorm and was quite delicious. The dorm was quiet for some time while it seemed the meal pacified everyone! Again, I am reminded how incredible grateful I am to be in this prison environment being served an incredible meal when so many families, especially children, are experiencing extreme hunger and poverty. I do hope these blog entries do help share an insight into the daily life of a prison living, but please know that it is a struggle. The absence of family and friends, even with the limited communication of a phone call or email, is quite the punishment and rests heavy on my shoulders nearly every waking moment…that is why I am quite grateful for any opportunity or incident that helps distract from this harsh reality.
My New Year’s resolution to seek forgiveness, to heal from my previous choices, and to highlight the miracles of becoming the person that I can be, even if I am in a prison environment! I hope you take the time to also capture your resolution or some goal of how this year will make you an even better person! I appreciate you all and your continued support, prayers, and positive energy, especially into 2023! I’ll end with taking the opportunity to look up (or Google) Numbers 6:24-25 (btw its a reference to the Bible)! It is one of my favorite blessings, which I pray for each and every one of you into this New Year!