The past Christmassy week offered a three-day weekend, but most of the weekend had been spent inside the dorm area since the recreation center was closed due to inclement weather. Bundling up in a layer of long johns, sweats, and a uniform became customary for me just to stay somewhat warm while venturing to and from the meal hall. I have not worn this many layers since skiing in Colorado and Vermont. To this day, the coldest weather that I had ever encountered was on a broken ski lift in Okemo, Vermont, with wind gusts between negative 20 and 30 degrees. And I had just as many layers as I am wearing today. I do like the cold weather in moderation, especially when I am skiing and also with the option to escape it by jet setting to South Florida or somewhere with a sun and a beach.
I had my third class on personal finance and learned the interesting secrets (or not so secret) trends of when to buy/sell government bonds and how to maximize an investment when trading stocks. Another fun fact, inmates are able to start corporations from prison without permission from the Board of Prisons or the warden. Once released from prison, a court must approve an inmate to start one! Why are loopholes being taught to incarcerated white collar criminals?!
Last week, just after I posted some questions and answers, I received a letter from my sister with many questions that she had been collecting from various people. The questions are really good, and I am happy to answer any questions. Thus far, I have not excluded any questions, nor have I encountered any redundant ones. Here are the questions with my version of the answers:
-What are your consequences for breaking the rules in prison?
When we check into this lovely resort, we are provided with a handbook (which there is an older version online), and the handbook outlines several guidelines and rules. "Do not pet, feed, or touch the wild life...do wear a clean pressed issued uniform to noon meal and work assignments...do not take food from the cafeteria back to your bunk..." With all these rules, comes carefully outlined consequences called "shots." No one can tell me exactly if shots is an acronym for something, like most federal alphabet soups, but a shot is an official write up. The write up has one of four offense levels from most severe to less. For an offense level 1, murder and having a cell phone are the top three. If you are caught in possession of a cell phone, then you will be immediately escorted to the segregated housing unit (SHU) and immediately processed for transfer to a medium security prison. Typically, any level 1 or 2 will result in this situation. While an accused is entitled to an investigation, the warden is quick to remove guys from the "non-custodial" designation to "custodial" (meaning you have to wear handcuffs and may no longer qualify for a prison camp but an enclosed prison - ones you see on TV). Other offenses, like levels 3 and 4 would make you lose earned good time and spend a lot of time in the SHU. From every guy that I have spoken to that has spent time in the SHU, they absolutely despise it and it is truly a punishment, perhaps an inhumane punishment...think of solidarity confinement and that is the SHU. Feeding wild life would be a level 4 offense but would earn about a week in the SHU. Basically, it is best to simply follow the rules - which I do rigorously follow!
-How has being confined changed you so far?
My incarceration has certainly been lifechanging, especially from freedom and most importantly limited contact with loved ones. I have not had any alcohol in 42 days, so I have trimmed down on weight quite a bit. When my mom and dad visited, my my commented that I felt a bit thicker! LOL, well, I had to tell her that I usually wear 3 layers of clothes since I am cold all the time (plus the clothes are all XL and I wear medium). I certainly will look at the laws more careful to avoid ever encountering a situation like this again. For example, I will be more cognizant of my speed and of any documents I sign with a perjury statement, etc. I never want to be through the system or end up in confinement again. I consider this a very tough lesson learned. Yet, I do believe that I have been entirely changed in my person and attitude, even if it has been about 42 days. At times, I feel as though I am on a soul-searching retreat to reflect on my life choices and the direction for the future (which essentially is what I am doing). I am also disheartened by the operations of the judicial system and the lack of guidance provided by the Board of Prisons, especially when entering a terrifying system. I feel really drawn to be an agent of change, but it will take more than one measly person to even make a dent in the bureaucracy of the prison reform. Even the laws that Congress passes that are years old have not been fully enacted or followed, like the First Step Act of 2018. I am appalled at how some really good men's lives are treated just like a number and should really be removed from prison. I am fortunate that my fate will be decided by my longer sentence, but at least I know and am not living day by day with an unknown teaser of freedom. Most importantly, I have changed to realize how my simply dumb choices have negatively impacted my family and loved ones, but yet they remain my biggest supporters and strongest advocates. This synergy alone is lifegiving and a true reflection of forgiveness and acceptance...
-Have you made friends with any of the guards?
As I have learned, "the guards" are professionally called corrections officers or COs. Apparently guard is an insulting term, but if I have used it in the past, then I mean no insult. I actually applaud the women and men who serve as COs. While we are not the most dangerous or violent of men, they do take their jobs quite seriously and professionally. To simply answer the question: No, I have not made any acquaintances or friends with the guards. Although I am very cordial with them, I try to stay off the radar as much as possible as to not raise any concerns or attention that may warrant them designating me for some chore or request a special task. The goal is to complete my time, rehabilitate based on the programming provided, and stay out of sight!
-Do you have your "tv/radio" device yet?
Unfortunately, the tv/radio receivers are on backorder right now. Last week, I heard there is a 3 month delay. Whelp, I've already gone 42 days without the news, TV, and radio. Honestly, it has been refreshing to be untethered for so long, but now, I am ready to catch up with the events of the world! I am truly living in a sheltered bubble void of the outside world. I am excited that my sister did generously subscribe me to a daily newspaper for Christmas, so I will be able to somewhat stay cognizant of current events (Thank you, Tif)! Also, I have not yet received my tennis shoes, but I do have my sweats! Thank you all for making these comforts even possible.
-Are you able to sleep well?
Typically, I am able to sleep about 8-9 hours per day. I attribute most of this sleep to a diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome. Some days I do not feel like I slept all that well. There are constant announcements, a corrections officer checks beds every 2 hours in the night with a very bright flashlight, and the noises of a door slamming to the restroom is nearly constant...The upside is the temperature of the dorm area has been excellent and the noise level has been very low lately, so I am sure that has been helping with sleeping well! After a stand-up count, which is where we all stand next to our bunk bed every night at 9:00 pm, the corrections officers will turn off the lights until the morning around 7:30 am. I do not have control of the lights, so sometimes, I will use a towel to cover my eyes.
-What is the first thing you'll do when you are released?
Wow, what an excellent question! So many things race through my head: kiss/hug loved ones - especially Drew, play with my pups, visit family and friends (including my sister's lake house), pick crabs, drink some fresh-squeezed orange juice, have a tall beer, go to the beach, get a job, volunteer for a local Church or nonprofit, reset my psychology practice, GOOGLE so many questions that I've had in prison, go to the Apple store and tinker with the newest technology, binge on shows that I have missed (Yellowstone, Succession, The Crown, and whatever new programming will be the talk - Tiger King 3 lol). I'm still working on main goals for this and hope to have these more complete for the beginning of 2023!
I will probably not sleep for 24-48 hours just with all the excitement of being out and having freedom!
-What is your favorite meal so far?
I am not sure what it is with food, but I am often asked about the meals that serve here. I guess many of you were really interested in the food that is served. My favorites so far have been the braised beef tenderloin, the special holiday meals, and THURSDAY lunch which is always a juicy roasted quartered chicken with creamy mashed potatoes, sweet corn, and cornbread. My least favorite is the fish sandwich that is served on Friday's at lunch. I like fish, but this fish meat is a square patty that was probably the rejects from McDonalds. They just taste awful, a slight fishy flavor and cardboard texture (not exaggerating) with French fries that have freezer burn to help flavor them. I usually skip this meal and make a protein shake from a banana, peanut butter, and a vanilla creamer for coffee. The lunch portions are mostly dinners, while the dinner portions are lunch-sized. None of our food is fried, but baked so that keeps it relatively healthy despite all the added sodium/salt! Here is a typical breakdown of our average weekly meals - sometimes they change, but these are the norm:
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday SundayBreakfast Oatmeal/Milk Cereal Oatmeal/Milk Grits/Milk Cereal Scrambled Eggs/Potatoes (both days)
Lunch Taco/Burritos Chix Sand. Hamburger/Fries Roasted Chix Fish Sand. Chix Salad & rice (both days)
Dinner BBQ Pork Sand. Meatloaf Pasta w/ Salad Leftovers Taco Salad Chix Fried Rice (very spicy)