Nearly 30 years ago, the Lion King debuted as an instant animated sensation (I believe it was 30 years – this is when I wish I could Google check my facts). Following the fanatical frenzy, it seemed like everyone had been cashing in on this franchise with Lion King merch everywhere, especially Disney! In the early 90s, I remember the concept of the Disney Store opening in malls became a staple that a Mall had made it and became worthy of shopping at. Prior to the Disney Stores, any official Disney items had to be purchased directly at one of the motherland parks. Of course I had an affinity toward the brilliance of the Lion King since Sir Elton John had co-wrote the music. “The Circle of Life” was my second favorite song, and the song that quintessentially tells the tail (pun intended) of the Lion King and Simba’s life journey. The creative geniuses at Disney instantly produced a Picasso by bringing forth real emotions of the human experience through relatable characters – our lives journeys could easily relate to the sorrows and joys that the Lion King captured.
Today, I experienced a significant sorrow: the loss of Hanky Pank St. Patrick Fisher-Gaughan, a very stubbornly persistent, soulfully-sweet, and timely affectionate French bulldog. He completed this life’s journey earlier in the evening surrounded by so much love. Typically when someone experiences the loss of a pet, the pet is “the most” something or other with personified accolades. Well, Hank was no different than being the best and the most that you could ask for from a furbaby. In his short but well-lived 13 years of life, he literally saved several lives and those are quite the powerful stories. His presence brought so much joy and laughter at his expressions and antics. He was a very happy dog, even until the end of ‘this’ life.
In the last 4 years, he suffered from a degenerative disease that caused him to mostly become immobile – only his front two paws worked as he dragged his lower legs (like Jesse from Family Guy except much happier). For the past 3 years, Drew and I spent nearly every day with Hank manually relieving his bladder and bowels (Don’t ponder this too much but it was a lot of work that we did with love and would do again without question). However, he was riddled with a terrible cancer that caused cancerous ulcers on his skin and eventually in his mouth and on his organs. In his last 24 hours, he had an exquisite surf and turf dinner (complete with filet mignon dinner, lobster tail and mashed potatoes). This morning he indulged in scrambled eggs. He spent his last moments this evening with Drew and Dan (who originally adopted Hank with Drew about 12 years ago). There are voluminous positive things to be said about this little pie meatball, and all he has given to this planet, especially those who experienced him (pie is the color of white with 1/2 black face/eye patch)! I am a better person today because of this nugget and the wisdom that he shared with me over the past 8 years. My closure is no where near being complete, but I am grateful to the few minutes that I had to talk to him on speaker phone. Only he and I know those moments and that is why he is so special to me…and why my heart hurts and mourns his physical loss!
Sorrow: While I had moments to ponder life events that would occur while I was away in prison, the loss of a loved one ranked number 1. I knew when I left in November that would be the last day I would spend with Hank. Today, this reality of loss really hurts and hammers hard, especially being away from him during his last days. I planned for today by working with an agency called, Laps of Love, which compassionately offers end-of-life care for pets in the DC/Maryland Area. The individuals who work for this organization are quite special people to say the least. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to pre-plan and at least help to make today’s passing a bit easier for us. Hank will be missed so much. I have asked my sister to post a picture this handsome meatball!
When I worked for the Catholic schools, I would often have to troubleshoot difficult situations. One particular situation involved a newly ordained priest who was teaching 2nd graders about Heaven. One student asked the question about her dog going to Heaven. In his naivety, the priest strictly replied that only people go to Heaven and no pets. Imagine how devastated this information was to hear by so many impressionable ears. Once the parents found out, the fury of complaints poured into my office. I went to the school to speak with the priest, who shared his theological insights. Yes, the Catholic Church does teach that we only know of human beings going to Heaven. However, I reminded him of pastoral sensitivity and responsibility. I explained different ways that he could have used this pedagogical moment to highlight we simply do not know if our pets go to Heaven. However, we may have some hope that the love they have expressed to us and what we have for them will live on in eternity since the power of love is eternal. I then challenged his basic theological stance by sharing that angels are in Heaven and not just human souls. Thus, we do not know if our little pets are secretly disguised angels to help our experience as humans thrive. I still challenge any stance that our pets do not go to Heaven or have a soul. God is good and loving, and I find it difficult for the conception of Heaven to exist without the precious, beautiful, and innocent creatures that God created. Our pets go to Heaven! We will be reunited with them and all our loved ones…and I know that Hanky received his angelic wings and will welcome us when we join him in the Golden Pasture.
Joy: Yesterday, I moved to my new dormitory unit called Bates. This unit is solely for the program that I am on the waitlist for. The move is very good and begins another wonderful journey in this prison environment. I will write more about this during my weekly update. I also started my new job yesterday as an electrician. The job does not pay entirely much, about $4.50 per week. I begin work at 7:30 am, Monday through Friday, and finish around 2:30 pm, which are not terrible hours. However, the hours are some of the longest here at the prison. The job has perks: I am authorized to check out any tools that I wish to help complete a job, which is quite the collection of tools! While I have residential experience with electric work, I am excited to learn about the commercial side of it. We are preparing three other dormitories for inmates, which will take time, but that means that they expect a population growth. The total number of electricians is 9. I was the ninth and last person to be hired since someone will be leaving next week and another will leave in about two weeks. We are responsible for anything that plugs in or connects to an outlet, which is quite a bit of equipment. I am excited to have something to occupy the day in a productive and educative manner.
This joy is particularly special to me, since my grandfather on my mother’s side, pappy as we affectionately called him, was a retired electrician. He often helped my uncle repair mobile carpet cleaners that people could rent. He would always have parts and pieces of these machines scattered in his work station. Today, I fixed three buffer machines, and when the parts and pieces were scattered about, I instantly flashed back to those moments of seeing my grandfather work his craft. This image became comforting and helped me to refocus on the importance and influence of our loved ones, especially those that have passed from this life, like my Pappy and Hanky Pank and so many other loved ones — even pets! While being away and experiencing a loss (even being a pet) has ravished me and I really cannot stop the tears from welling. I wish you all a wonderful and blessed weekend!
***Today also marks the 2 year anniversary of the January 6 event at the Capitol in Washington, D.C. Please say an extra prayer of remembrance for the lives lost and those lives negatively impacted from that event. Many women and men have been incarcerated due to their behaviors, but that process of federal litigation alone hurts families, no matter how awful or dutiful the people acted.